Mademoiselle Gras

guillotine

Mademoiselle Gras loathed her big butt,
So to exit her exercise rut,
She switched her gym routine
From treadmill to guillotine;
Now her ass, you could say, is well-cut.

Gras is French for “fat,” as in Mardi Gras (“Fat Tuesday”). The distribution of fat between the sexes is quite different. According to Scientific American: “Hormones drive the deposition of fat around the pelvis, buttocks, and thighs of women and the bellies of men. Throughout most of their lives, females have a higher percentage of body fat than males. By 25 years of age, for example, healthy-weight women have almost twice the body fat that healthy-weight men have. This gender difference begins early in life.” Now, about the guillotine, a decapitation device in use in Europe at least as far back as 1210 A.D. Most associated with France and the revolution of 1792, it remained in service as the standard method of execution until capital punishment was abolished in 1981 following the election of François Mitterrand to the presidency. The last person guillotined in France was Hamida Djandoubi, a kidnapper, torture-murderer and pimp, on September 10, 1977.

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