Limericks, Rated G

Vampire Bob

That lunaphobe Vampire Bob
Slurps blood through a straw like a slob;
As a bat, he can’t fly,
So, friends tell the pale guy,
“Don’t you dare give up your day job!”

See also this limerick’s Undead companion pieces:

According to Thought Catalog, if bitten by a vampire, one must drink the ashes of a burned vampire. Anti-vampire items include churches, crucifixes, holy water, garlic, thresholds, mirrors, sunlight and fire. Pre-Christian ones included garlic, hawthorn branches, rowan trees, scattered seeds, fire, decapitation with a gravedigger’s spade, salt, iron, bells, a rooster’s crow, peppermint, running water and burial at a crossroads. If you throw in a cheeseburger as bait, most of these are also effective against William Shatner and David Hasselhoff.

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