The Age-Old Standby
CLIMAX, NORTH CAROLINA — One’s self-interested stimulation need not be overly complicated. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best solutions.
Tag: Masturbation
Sexual arousal and stimulation by oneself, usually by way of direct manipulation or use of objects on, around and in the genitals and erogenous zones, typically to orgasm.
Restaurants
GREASY, OKLAHOMA, USA — Jokes about America’s sad choice of chain dining options, many of them gross and unhealthy fast food.
From the Internet
LOCAL BROWSER HISTORY — Keep one hand free to diddle as you scour the web endlessly for porn that will scratch that fetish itch.
Dry Rub
HARD SCRATCH, IOWA — Good lord, it’s now on the menu and reasonably priced, but are you brave enough to order it?
Eskimo Faps
MARY’S IGLOO, ALASKA, USA — When the weather is this frigid, perhaps it’s best to not touch yourself.
Dirk’s Dildo Works
BIGBONE, KENTUCKY, USA — If everyone wants one, it’s going to be difficult to obtain.