Jokes, Rated R


Why is Egg Harbor a nymphomaniac’s dream.
Everywhere you look, there’s cock.

Why didn’t gay men care that much about Chik-fil-A’s homophobia?
It’s a bigger issue with lesbians, because they enjoy eating chicks.

Where can a guy get blown, while enjoying a sandwich and beer?
BJs, Restaurant & Brewery.

What particular restaurant do both vampires and Michael J. Fox avoid?
Stake ‘n’ Shake.

Where do the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan go for a Caucasians-only meal?
White Castle.

What do you call a homosexual who milks cows?
A Dairy Queen.

What’s even worse than crabs in your hat?
A Red Lobster in your hood.

Where do chronic masturbators go for a burger, fries and a quick wank?
Jack in the Box.

At what eatery are you most likely to encounter a hedgehog?

What do waterboarding victims do to satisfy their sweet teeth?
After Dunkin’, Donuts.

Ain’t no indoor plumbing, so where the fuck’s the shitter?
Out Back.

If you get high eating pot brownies at 4:20, what do you get from 7:11?
Gas. Or shot. Take your pick.

What restaurant do goldfish hang out at?
Golden Coral.

What happens when the cook adds Viagra to the burgers?
Hard Dees.

If stranded on a desert island, where can you always find life-saving sustenance?
In the Pizza Hut.

Ask an angry rabbit how it gets to breakfast every morning, what would it say?

What kind of pizza did Augustus, Tiberius and Claudius like when they were kids?
Little Caesars.

If you are foolish enough to eat food from a gas station, what are the usual consequences later?
The Sheetz.

Where does Immigration law enforcement intercept the most illegals trying to enter the U.S.?
On the Border.

What type of methamphetamine comes with complementary sliders?

What eatery is always in terrorists’ crosshairs?
Target Cafe.

Where will you consistently find semen in fucking olive oil?

Where can kids bring their buns and get the meat for free?

Diarrhea occurs most often on what two days of the week?
On (Ruby) Tuesdays and (T.G.I.) Fridays.

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