Hirsute Hilda craned forward to watch
As her lover moved down to her crotch,
But that thick mass of hair
Gave the guy such a scare,
That, trembling, he swears he saw Sasquatch.
Hirsute is a fancy word for “hairy.” According to Julie Austin’s “15 Funny, Helpful and Scary Facts About Pubic Hair”, the average woman spends considerable time (58.4 days) and money (if waxing: $23,000; if shaving: $10,000) removing pubic hair over the course of nearly 60 years. Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot, is an ape-like creature over two meters tall, purportedly inhabiting the mountainous wilds of America’s Pacific Northwest.