Episodes I, II and III
What are Kamino instructors often heard saying to break up roughhousing kids?
“Stop cloning around, boys.”
Why is Master Yoda so green?
Because he has a high midi-chlorophyll count.
How is it that droidekas can pursue and engage enemies so quickly?
That’s just how they roll.
How does the Trade Federation manage to move so slowly, yet still wreck so many ships?
Because they’re Asian.
Why does no one take Darth Maul seriously anymore?
Because he’s half the man he used to be.
What’s the most popular ice cream flavor on Kashyyk?
Wookiee dough.
What’s the consistency of wookiee dough?
Chewie.
What would the body snatchers be to young Anakin Skywalker?
Just another pod race.
As Anakin Skywalker embraces the Dark Side, what does a fun evening of lightsabers and beer typically entail?
Lots of cold Yuenglings.
What’s worse than Jar-Jar Binks ass-raping you?
Him talking while he’s doing it.
What’s worse than Jar-Jar Binks ass-raping you and talking while he’s doing it?
George Lucas in the corner masturbating and uploading pictures to the internet.
What’s the unique urban smell of the Galactic Republic’s smoggy capital called?
Coru-scent.
What’s the most popular mood lighting decor on Mustafar?
The lava lamp.
Why does Jango Fett dislike Geonosians?
They bug him.
See more in Stumpy’s Star Wars Jokes series, including The Classic Trilogy.
