Limericks, Rated PG

The Kandahar Code

In Kandahar, the troops share a code:
That if vehicles at chokepoints have slowed
Gunners guard the convoy’s flanks
In case some Taliban skanks
Rig roadside IUDs to explode.

The main joke is in the acronyms. An intrauterine device (IUD) is a small, often T-shaped barrier contraceptive, also known as a coil, that is inserted into the womb to prevent pregnancy. An improvised explosive device (IED) is a makeshift bomb employed as a booby trap by guerrillas or commandos against conventional military forces. Both are superlative at disrupting life processes in their own way. IUDs, depending on the type, are said to be 99.2 percent to 99.9 percent effective. In Afghanistan and Iraq, cobbled-together roadside charges caused two out of three Coalition casualties. Insurgents usually fashioned them from mortar or artillery shells and detonated them remotely. In Afghanistan, plenty of explosive material is sourced from a seemingly inexhaustible supply of old Soviet ordnance caches.

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