Limericks, Rated G

Vaguely Clever

Apply for jobs every day,
Struggling for the right words to say,
That sound vaguely clever,
Even though you’ll never
Get to interview, anyway.

Job-hunting is exhausting, depressing and stressful. It sucks balls. According to Forbes, companies don’t advertise about 80 percent of available jobs. Each job opening on average gets 118 applicants, of whom only 20 percent get an interview. It’s normal these days for software to weed out up to half of the applications before anyone ever looks at a resume or cover letter. Two out of five professionals are uncomfortable negotiating salary. For those who don’t, it ends up costing them about half a million dollars by the time they’re 60.

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