Limericks, Rated PG

Chastity Belts

The knights of the king’s royal guard
Reached consensus in this one regard:
Iron chastity locks
Had mangled all their cocks
And left them permanently scarred.

So, after much debate, Sir Gerard,
Proposed, as brothers, they’d discard
Each wife and sister’s belt,
Since all parties involved felt
That no holes, as they say, should be barred.

There is scant evidence to support the claim that chastity belts were ever employed prior to the nineteenth century. Furthermore, it is almost certain that even rare use during the time of the Crusades is a virtual impossibility, despite popular ahistorical accounts and portrayals, particularly of the comedic variety. The device depicted in the image above is fictional, from the 2015 remake of Mad Max.

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