Limericks, Rated PG


So covered in soot, Santa’s black,
With pine needles lodged in his crack;
His shriveled private parts
Reek of reindeer farts,
And there’s fungus all over his sack.

See also this limerick’s Santa companion pieces:

According to Gizmodo, if all of St. Nick’s reindeer are male—which is a reasonable assumption, given their masculine-sounding names—they’ve all had their nuts cut off. We know this, because only females and castrated males retain their antlers in winter. Damn, Santa, that’s just cold!

Discover more from

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading