Limericks, Rated R


Joe’s irritable, raucous and rude;
He’s all muscled and prison-tattooed;
As the meanest dude on Earth,
Others give him a wide berth,
And cower as they consider his mood.

He carries a machete and switchblade,
A shotgun, a Glock and a hand grenade;
What he can’t fuck or ride,
He just tosses aside,
In his thirst to get high and get laid.

He subsists on caffeine and nicotine,
Plus, pot and a lot of amphetamine;
His perpetual sneer
Makes men flee and fear
The scent of leather and gasoline.

Yet those who know him best realize
That his stalwart demeanor’s a disguise,
Because after just three beers
He becomes one of them queers
That watches Les Misérables and cries.

Wikipedia: Many prison tattoos are inmates’ encoded narratives, stories of identity, hardship, violence, loyalty and allegiance. These can be gang or group affiliations (such as three- or four-dot designs for Mexican mafia and swastikas or SS lightning bolts for neo-Nazis and white supremacists), weapons of choice, sexual orientation, length of incarceration (often depicted as a spider web on an elbow), the type of crimes the individual has committed (such as a teardrop symbol for each murder victim), or even to broadcast availability as a hired killer. The inks and equipment are all improvised, so the sharing of needles, coupled with the lack of proper sterilization, can transfer serious viral and bacterial infections.

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