Limericks, Rated R

Terminator: Kyle Reese

“Kyle,” John said, “you’re a fighter,
“Who’s key to a future that’s brighter.
“Protect Sarah Connor
“With valor and honor,
“And for fuck’s sake shoot off inside her!”

See also this limerick’s Terminator companion piece:

Spoiler Alert:
In James Cameron’s 1984 SF film The Terminator, desperate humans fight a protracted war in post-apocalyptic ruins against machine overlords. The artificial intelligence entity Skynet first uses nuclear weapons to eradicate humanity. Afterward, its army of robotic hunter-killers systematically decimates most of the remaining human population. However, the leader of the Tech-Com resistance cell, John Connor, leads a last-ditch-effort counterattack. Humanity triumphs, but just before its destruction, Skynet manages to send a lone Terminator cyborg infiltration unit back in time to kill John’s mother, Sarah, which it hopes would effectively prevent the future human victory from ever happening. John sends a volunteer, soldier Kyle Reese, on a one-way trip back to the same time period to thwart the cyborg assassin’s mission. John then levels Skynet’s research facility, which destroys the time displacement device within it. Long story short, Kyle and Sarah have sex. Kyle dies battling the Terminator, but Sarah survives, pregnant with Kyle’s son, John Connor. Despite all this, enough future-tech remains intact from the smashed Terminator for scientists to reverse engineer it, setting in motion the rise of advanced AI and, ultimately, Skynet itself.

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