This Christmas
NEWARK, NEW JERSEY, USA — You messed up big time. Santa’s displeased. Here’s the terrible tally of your misdeeds this past year.
Emu Stew
BULLSHIT HILL, AUSTRALIA — A bird that can disembowel you in an instant: the antithesis of an easy meal.
Turkey Skin
MELEAGER, WEST VIRGINIA, USA — With a face only a mother could love, these are nonetheless remarkable creatures.
Whispers of Light
LOCAL GALACTIC ARM — Most life as we know it requires sunlight to flourish. We are no different.
Sperm Bank
WANKERS CORNER, OREGON, USA — For all of two and a half minutes of “work,” if you’re chosen as a donor, the money’s easy to come by.
