Author: Stumpy

There is only speculation about Stumpy. Is he a prophet? Is he a revolutionary? Nobody knows of his background or even where he is at any given time. What's he looking for as he travels the globe? Why does he feel compelled to write stuff down and share it with the world? Why fucking limericks? Who knows. The man is an enigma.

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Lyrics, Rated R

This Christmas

NEWARK, NEW JERSEY, USA — You messed up big time. Santa’s displeased. Here’s the terrible tally of your misdeeds this past year.

Limericks, Rated G

Emu Stew

BULLSHIT HILL, AUSTRALIA — A bird that can disembowel you in an instant: the antithesis of an easy meal.

Limericks, Rated PG

Turkey Skin

MELEAGER, WEST VIRGINIA, USA — With a face only a mother could love, these are nonetheless remarkable creatures.

Limericks, Rated G

Vultures

OKAVANGO DELTA, BOTSWANA — Vultures used to answer to no one, but times have changed. When it comes to modern air travel, takeoff weight matters.

Fucking Birds

AUSTIN, TEXAS, USA — As a group, our avian friends have some of the goofiest and most sexually suggestive names in the animal kingdom.

Limericks, Rated PG

Massage Parlor

DONGGUAN, CHINA — For those seeking the healing properties of touch therapy in the red district, all’s well that ends well.