This Christmas
NEWARK, NEW JERSEY, USA — You messed up big time. Santa’s displeased. Here’s the terrible tally of your misdeeds this past year.
Category: Rated R
R – Reprehensible
Contains overtly sexual, violent and degenerate mature themes that are sure to offend and repulse.
Example: Fuck you, there is no example.
Fucking Birds
AUSTIN, TEXAS, USA — As a group, our avian friends have some of the goofiest and most sexually suggestive names in the animal kingdom.
Old Saint Nick
NORTH POLE — Santa is a sick individual with sadomasochistic tendencies. But you knew that already.
Mansplaining
TOAD SUCK, ARKANSAS, USA — When it comes to sexist vocabulary, what’s good for the gander is good for the goose.
Rufus Brown
DRIPPING SPRINGS, OKLAHOMA, USA — Rufus proves you don’t have to be quick, just persistent.