The fate of Pinocchio’s a shame,
But, frankly, he himself is to blame
For the brisk, frictious rub
On his morning wood nub,
That caused him to burst into flame.
Nowadays, most people know the character Pinocchio from the Disney film released in February, 1940. However, the tale dates back to 1883, when Italian Carlo Collodi published his children’s novel The Adventures of Pinocchio. Like many fairy tales, the original version offers up some surprisingly dark elements. For example, Pinocchio accidentally burns off his own feet, then gets stabbed by assassins and hanged halfway through the book. Also, the cricket ignominiously dies when Pinocchio throws a fucking hammer that hits it in the head. In case you don’t know, morning wood is the slang term for the erection sometimes present as one wakes.